Burden
by Hikari Daeron
Summary: Liberashipping. Malik and Yugi talking and reflecting while their respectives yamis duel in Battle City.


Me: Round four and yep, I'm still in it. It's LIBERASHIPPING time! I've never written a MalikxYugi, so I'm kinda excited for this. Have a plot and everything, believe it or not. IF YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY TAKE YOUR BROKE ASS HOME! Er – sorry, _Gossip Girl_/"Glamorous" on the mind… THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES!!! Er – sorry, again. I was thinking of the amazing _Death Note _flash video and… yeah. (sighs blissfully) THE ENDING IS SO _SAD_!!! (wails) But I knew it was coming… (Rereading this story, the grammar sounds like a typical Japanese sub. Sigh…)

Another dual POVs, both first person. Set during the Yami vs. Marik (a.k.a. Yami Malik)'s duel in the Battle City finals. Both Yugi and Malik are reflecting, but it will become more obvious that it is during the duel throughout the story. Also, eventually, they communicate through the Shadows. LIBERASHIPPING – this is MalikxYugi. (Hints of puzzleshipping, YamixYugi.) No graphic scenes, but if you're offended by gay pairings, please, don't feel obligated to read. You have been warned.

Character notes: Yami is very angry at Malik's actions, while Yugi is more initially than later – he finds it easier to forgive Malik, especially when Marik pops up. In this fic, Yugi is very bitter and angry in the beginning (reflecting more of Yami's emotions) – so much so, that he drops honorifics (grin). However, as his feelings change in the show, it does so in the fic as well. Also, Malik is supposed to be the emo Malik toward the end of the season. He is very reflective and truly regrets what he has done.

Pairing note: I hope it's obvious enough that Malik really craves Yugi, and Yugi s drawn to Malik. There are hints of puzzleshipping as well, though. That's a matter of interpretation.

Disclaimer: Hikari Daeron does not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or any affiliations. This work was written exclusively for the aforementioned contest.

* * *

_**Burden **_

When I think of what has happened to us, I feel nothing but a cold, deep _fury_. How dareyou cause all of this? How dare you wreak havoc and destruction wherever you go? I'd like to think that my feelings stem from such basic facts, but it's so much _more _than that. If you had a bone to pick with me and Spirit, why did you involve others?! Why not confront us directly?! But no! You had to manipulate those around you, you had to use even those you loved most! Your own _sister _no longer supports you! Isis and Rishid love you, and you used them, turned them against you.

No. Instead of confronting me and other me, you used others. How many souls lie in the Shadows? Shall I count the times that my soul was almost with them? And what about the souls of those who are untied to you in any way? You used my friends. You made them forget who they are, just for a chance to get rid of us. You made them forget why they were fighting, _for your own means._

You turned my best friend against me.

* * *

_I… it is hard to believe, what I am feeling right now. Do I even have a right to care? But apparently, I do, far deeper than I had previously expected._

_Before, you were only another person in my way, another distraction to the ultimate goal. I needed to destroy Pharaoh. He represented everything my family had done, and everything more they would have to do. When I saw you, _you_, his Ra-damned _host_, my hatred transferred to you too. Why, I silently screamed, would you _choose _to support him?! It was you, after all, who brought him back into this world. Had you not solved the Puzzle, he would have been trapped for perhaps another three thousand years._

_But you solved the golden Puzzle. The stranger's story that was whispered on Egyptian soil suddenly became a shocking reality. The ruler of Shadows returned. The Dead King awakened._

_Perhaps I should have realized then that I was supposed to _thank _you, not abhor your actions. Perhaps I should have seen that with the rebirth of the pharaoh came the end of the darkness that my people had faced since his death. But I didn't._

_Instead, I caused this mess, and dragged _you _into it.

* * *

_

My blood boils to think what you have done. The spirit in the Ring was working with you, and in the end, he was sent to the Shadow Realm, where Ryou probably is now. And what about Jounouchi? And Mai? Had you any right to send her away as you did? Who are you to pass judgment on whomever you come across?

Argue with me that it was your "other half" that did this… but you can't forget that it is _your other half_. He is a part of you. He was born from _your _hatred, from _your _rage.

_You did this.

* * *

_

_There is no excuse for what I did. Truly, it is as unforgivable as the sin that is carved into my back. The anger and hatred you must feel towards me is surely as sharp, if not sharper than, the sword that was used against me six years ago. Certainly, when you look at me, you must feel an upsurge of fury that you've never felt before. Your face should grow hot, your jaw clench so tightly that your temples begin to throb. You'd clench your fists until your nails draw blood from your palms. Your lips would draw into a fierce line; your shoulders stiffen like cardboard, back turned to those you love. Your energy would be focused on hating me and everything I represent, everything I've done._

_But someone such as you has no hope to contain such feelings. They are too dark to your light soul. Perhaps it might have been the same for me, when I first felt similar emotions. But in fact, they are no such burden. I was born in the darkness, never knowing what light looked like. When it touched my soul, it created such shadows that could only be mirrored in its Realm. _

_These shadows did not like to simply stay put. They took a new form, and new life, in the one that goes around calling himself my "stronger" half. I feel like I am trying to avoid guilt and pin the blame on these shadows. But in reality, it is my own fault that these things happened. Had I not resented the sacred task presented to my clan, I would never have flinched at being the heir to Pharaoh's memories. Had I not desired to see the light, the shadows would never have been created. _

_It is my own fault.

* * *

_

I look at you with a sense of disgust. After the love of your sister, after the devotion shown to you by someone who may as well be your brother, you still acted the way you did, still destroyed the lives of innocents. You refused to believe in the horror of your crimes. You have never repented, have you?

And yet… something in me wants to believe otherwise. Never before have I held such dark emotions inside of me. But when I look at what you have done, I feel a surge unlike anything I have ever felt before. An ecstasy of sorts – it is a jumble of burning rage and passion that confuses me. Despite this fury, I feel a sense of compassion for you.

It infuriates me. After all you've done, I can still look on you and pity. I should look at you and _hate_. I should, when I see your face, have a burning desire to _hurt _you as you have others, as you have me. I would have _died _to save Jounouchi that day. You knew that, and had blatant disregard for any human life. The fact that you, in fact, _did_ drop that anchor when we were both attached shows as much. And the continuation of the Shadow Games – they come from _you_. The spirit of the Ring would not, under normal circumstances, have even entered the Battle City Tournament in the first place. But _you _convinced him to do so, and then _you _convinced him that the proper course of action would be to follow through with Shadow Games. It is _your _fault that this continues.

And yet… although I tell myself to hate you, although I tell myself that you have no understanding for kindness and love, I do not hate _you_. I hold you responsible for what as happened, and I loathe everything you have done so far, but I do not transfer those feelings to _you_. Perhaps to your other half – standing across from me and my face, yelling out profanities and hatreds, he is the epitome of everything I despise. He represents everything that you have done, and so I can hate him. But hate _you_?

I pity you. I think you are a victim of something you could not help.

* * *

_Rishid was able to keep it locked away. He was able to keep my rage in check. He did not realize that he held such powers, but the times he was not there, I grew darker than before. I did not realize the extent of his control until Ra struck him down for using a false card._

_When I lost control over myself, it was the most terrifying situation I had ever been in. Before, I hadn't realized the extent of my feelings. But now, _now_, I know the truth of what I have done. I realize the extent of my actions. And while my justifications are inadequate, I hope that somehow, somewhere in your heart, you can learn to forgive me._

_I regret what I have done. With my actions, I have not only alienated the only people who can help me, but I have also alienated _you.

* * *

I look across at you. You are floating so limply, so helplessly, that I cannot help but grow soft at the sight. You look utterly helpless against your other half, the one who is berating you and me as well. I hadn't seen it before – you two are almost utter contrasts. Your hair is fairer than his, your eyes much lighter. Even your tanned skin glows with something that his does not. Your form is slender, his is muscular. Remarkable, how much… _eviler _he looks, especially in comparison to you. Especially as his face stretches and contorts with rage – something yours never did.

Why is it that now, as my body and soul is slowly being consumed by shadows, I can appreciate beauty in the form of you? I look back on your actions with hate, but I look back on your past and truly feel a sense of sympathy. You did not know light for ten _years_. You were told that your life would be dedicated to a dead _someone _you could barely believe in. But while others might have complained in secrecy, you were the only one to do something about it. By now I've established my feelings on your actions, but it is almost… well, _admirable_. You took something you had never known and created a truth that you could understand. Who knows what anyone else would have done in that situation? Even I cannot be sure that I would not resent it, as you did, and perhaps, still do…

Looking at you now, seeing your body fade away faster than my own, I cannot help but feel that it is now that you finally see the _real _truth.

* * *

_I have fought to find some way to earn your forgiveness. I have heard that you are especially kind, no matter what the situation. People have used you over and over, but you do not find it impossible to still care for them. Why? How? I want to be like that… take this meaningless energy and create some _good _in this world, instead of promote the endless bad._

_I know you are hanging across from me, just as I am. I feel a deep sense of remorse, that you have been dragged into something that you did not need to be involved in. Perhaps if I had been less complacent about my case, more understanding of yours, then you might have been spared. I never meant it to go this far.

* * *

_

You see the truth, and for that, I might be able to forgive you. More and more I think about it, and more and more I find that while I can hold you accountable, I cannot blame you. It makes no sense, and yet, somehow, I am able to discern a logic that springs from the most illogical of things: emotion.

After Duelist Kingdom, I felt something ebb away from me. It was not until the finals of this tournament that I realized what it was: the will to fight. Malik… you were the one to restore my fighting spirit. I almost regret admitting it, but had it not been for you, I might not have had the motivation to fight for what I believe in, for everything I stand for. By opposing the two Puzzle bearers, you drew us closer together. Without you, other me would have never known the truth – would not be on this _quest _for truth and I… I would have remained very unhappy. I would have had to keep pretending that I didn't know what was going on. I would have had to play dumb, to ignore the pain of my other half, to deny any knowledge of his _lack _of knowledge.

Your opposition taught the spirit to trust me. Your rebellion drew the two halves of my soul together, and showed me that one half isn't even truly mine. Your challenge showed us just how much more we have to go, and how much we care about each other.

* * *

_Truly, Yugi, I am sorry… I'm sorry I did this! Forgive me. If there is anyway to show you just how much I regret my actions, I would do so. I never meant for it to go this far. I… I didn't want this to happen to you._

You did the only thing you knew how to. How could you show kindness without knowing it?

_I should have learned. It should have been instinctual. The love and compassion that Isis and Rishid showed me – I should have transferred that to you._

It is not too late. You repent, you remorse. I know that now, and the fact that you know that what you have done is wrong is already a huge step forward. You started this, Malik – and you have the power to end it.

_Yugi, it is too late. There is nothing I can do. I have barely enough power to communicate like this as it is._

Malik, it is _not _too late! Let me help you. Let Spirit help you. We don't want to exile you to a life in the shadows!

… _Why do you care so much? _How_? After everything I have done to you, to your friends, you want to save me from the fate I cursed them with? Even Pharaoh… even after this plot to have him killed, and for me to take his place! Even still, he can let it go?_

Malik, they say to err is human, to forgive, divine. Let us lift some of the fake godhood bestowed upon you and show remind you that _you are human_. You will make mistakes. Even Sp – Pharaoh was human at one point, and his godhood was not given lightly.

_Pharaoh is divine… yet you remain as always. How can _you _forgive me?_

They say I have a huge heart.

_And you're willing to share some of it with me?_

You are needy, Malik. Everything that was given to you was snatched away. Now, the most precious thing is gone: your freedom. I will fight with you to get it back.

… _Forgive me, Yugi. I do not deserve this._

But I am offering it to you. And this should, above all else, show forgiveness. You have been a cruel victim of fate, Malik. If I can help ease that burden, I will. No one should have to bear it, and you have for too long.

… _Thank you._

And I you, in a roundabout sort of way. It was you who united my friends and me. It was you who taught Pharaoh that he was Pharaoh, and that as his partner I am the one he needs to trust most. Without that, I would still have to hide. Without that, I would have to say that everything's okay when I know he is hurting inside.

… _How much do you love him?_

He is my other half.

_One day he might leave._

That is one day. I live in the present, not the future.

_Implying that I live in the past?_

You are guided by what has happened to you. What else can you do? You have only known the secrets of a dead king. It is impossible for you to know more of our world.

_I can learn._

Certainly. But it is not easy to teach matters such as kindness and love.

_How, then?_

Through experience. Through feeling. When it is bestowed, you can learn to bestow back.

_And maybe then…_

Perhaps _only _then…

… _Am I strong enough?_

You created him, Malik. He was born from your anger and hatred, all you ever knew. Counter it with something you are just learning. Show him your true spirit!!

_Will you be here if I fail?_

Malik, I will be here when you triumph and lock your past away in the deepest recesses of the shadows. Your soul will find a balance between the darkness you were locked in and the light that was blasted upon you.

… _Will you…? This burden, it's –_

I think I already have. Do you not already feel lighter? Go, Malik. Fight for control against the tyranny in this world. Prove that you _are _stronger. This is only one half of the story. And…

… My _story has just begun.

* * *

_

Me: It was REALLY hard to end it. I couldn't find the proper place. So… sorry, that the last part was a bit lengthier than I intended. Actually, this whole fic... well. It's okay, I guess, for a first liberashipping. Hum.

Oh, when Yugi says, "me and my face", he's referring to Yami. I… er, well, this is so lame, I pulled a bit of a Toni Morrison there (we just finished reading _Beloved_… I am so lame).


End file.
